The words over at Three Word Wednesday are gait, nudge and ripen.
Zooming the Girls
He falls to his knees and in mock torment, beats his fists on the sidewalk, which skews the contents of his backpack painfully to one side.
Two girls on bikes flank a third. She is tall and gangly (with a hint of the curves she’ll ripen into) and carries a skateboard.
Hazel eyes that sparkle in the sun, this tall girl is the one he craves. An adolescent tease in jean shorts, white blouse over a white tube top, flip-flops and a wispy braided bracelet around her right ankle. Her hair is long and curly and she’s pulled it back into a ponytail.
He stands up, thrusts his hands in his pockets, advances yet again in a cool, calculated gait.
“I gotta go,” he pleads.
The sentries nudge one another, put their hands up like stop signs, wag their fingers. He can only shrug his shoulders, eyes pleading.
The lanky girl, her skin the color of melted light brown sugar, thrusts her shoulders forward, shakes her head no, and screws her lips into a pout. Her cheeks are red; she puts a chewed fingertip to her lips. She smiles; her eyebrows arch.
“Just one kiss,” he says. “’Cause I gotta go home.”
The sentries won’t relent.
Even though she wants them to just disappear, in the very worst way.
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27 comments:
Words so effortlessly used .. just brilliant, I loved it!
I gotta go... How many of us gentlemen have said this very thing? Nice write. Love and Light, Sender
Ah yes, the friends. Must they always be hovering about? I'm sure I've been there once or twice. This captures it perfectly. Good job!
Perfectly put!
baton of time
Did not. Even. Notice the words.
Love this piece to bits. It's like this: boom-boom-boom-the end! What flash should do.
didn't make it around these parts last week so making it around this week... love this age... heck love every age... but i like how you caught the bike and backpack.. and the youth of a young boy's thoughts...
You capture these characters so vividly...I thoroughly enjoyed reading your words!
This seems so effortlessly written. It just flows into being naturally. I really like it.
Thanks for coming by!
you write the most enjoyable tales !!
Love how you used the words. The slight description of the girls, "...gotta go..." refrain
You already have the NY edge. Can't wait until you're actually living there
I like the way you use words. This was very good, almost effortless, yet enough to be complete.
excellent as always..
Patsy
Ahhh... masterful as ever, and so much fun! And I, too, was far too pulled into your tale to notice the words. :)
Good capture of angst that hangs around the young!
A great slice of life. :-)
Wonderful! Love the way the four of them play the game, even while chaffing at the rules. Terrific stuff.
Enjoyed reading this piece.
Well done. I add, I wonder why the chaperones though? Unusual in our world. I once loved a Puerto Rican "princess" and we had to get creative to give the chaperones the slip. She was great. I remember her fondly. I wonder if she thinks of me, bet she does. The circumstances were unusual.
This is so well written; tight and controlled with just enough description as to not overburden the reader in any way. Thoroughly enjoyed your writing and great use of the prompt. The words flowed so smoothly, even within the parenthesis, that I didn't even notice.
Interesting use of the word "sentries" and the main male persona has a backpack! Instantly I wondered if he was returning to prison after day leave - hence the desperation! Beautiful story with a whispering dark thread!
Ah, the trials of young love and the friends who stand in its way. Good story.
As others have said Thom, you have a knack for making these slice-of-lifes seem effortless. Good stuff.
Makes me chuckle. Especially since it's one guy and three girls. It very often seems that way.
Sweet, and nicely written.
The trick in that situation is to ignore the flanking rooks and go straight for the king.
Nice work.
Curious why he does it in "mock" torment. Does he realize quite how melodramatic he's being?
Hi Thom, love the way you captured this!
It's good to be back on 3WW too!
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