The words over at Three Word Wednesday are abuse, cramp and hatred. Something quick and dirty.
Luncheonette for the Possessed
“There is goodness in you, even though you can’t see it,” she says.
The fork is halfway to his mouth, which is open for delivery, and he stops, a flush of hatred lights in his icy blue eyes.
He folds his hands together and tucks his chin on knuckles; warm curry puddles under the fork, now a pendulum.
“Did I ask for an assessment?”
The diner is cramped and it is packed; it’s a living organism that pulsates, breathes, sighs. It presses its mass into her, she feels faint, a victim of her own stupid choices.
He stares, smiles. Shoots bushy eyebrows into amused arcs that beg answers.
It's enough of an insult; his abuse emboldens her.
“No, you did not ask,” she says. “But I have opinions too, you know.”
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11 comments:
A delightful, supercilious moment! This would make a great, (albeit lengthy) caption for a cartoon!
haha, wonderful title. Masterful detail that makes the piece live and breathe, and strong characterization that makes me feel, in my gut, the troubled dynamic between this couple. Great work!
oh yes, that last line does do the trick nicely ;) :D all have their opinions..
"Did I ask for an assessment?" LOL!
Fabulous. I saw this vividly in my mind's eye.
Very nice! I'll chock this one up to "woman's perogative". She'll have her say, right?
I wish it were longer. The play between these two is tense. Interesting to see how they finish up.
Left me thinking that she could be wrong....
I too wanted to know what happened after this conversation.
Ah, a quick little moment in time. I guess not everyone wants to be reassured of their innate goodness.
I get weird at compliments - and general well wishes - too. He sounds very interesting as a character. He'll be a lot of fun for you to explore I think.
........dhole
Oh yeah I have opinions too you know. I wonder what his reaction would be to that!! :)
By the way, pardon me if it is a blooper, but where is 'abuse' and 'hatred'??
Unusually short for your style Thom. Interesting little glimpse of a larger scene with spunky characters. Nice work, left me wanting more.
ha! How much is revealed about both the man and the woman in such a short piece! It lets me envision people I know in the scene you've described.
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