I didn’t put any electrodes on my nipples, testicles or any crazy shit like that, but I did do a little science experiment on Tuesday.
I watched 15 minutes of CNN Headline News.
Followed by 15 minutes of Fox News.
I did not lose what was left of my panang curry pork lunch (just barely, however).
But I estimate that I lost at least 100,000 brain cells.
But I’m not even sure of that, because for 30 minutes, I grew more stupid as the seconds ticked off my wristwatch. My intellect suffered (I counter-balanced the cell loss with a brisk walk with my go-to action dog).
If it wasn’t an update on Britney Spears or Anna Nicole Smith, there was a story that was meant to seriously frighten viewers. Or it was a story that was just plain fucking drivel, meant to titillate or inflame.
I am part of the media.
I am a reporter.
And I am ashamed to be part of “the media.”
(But, then again, I take full responsibility for the work I do.)
Society, I guess, wants it that way.
They want fluff.
They hunger for crapola.
They want 24/7 coverage on what “Crazy Britney” is going to do next.
This is supposed to be the new age of reason; with all the modern conveniences, we’re supposed to be able to devote more time to art, philosophy, debate.
We’re left with up-to-the-second updates on shit that absolutely does nothing to enrich anyone’s life.
Keep on this track, and by 2099, the U.S. will be full of imbeciles and social retards.
In 2006, Mike Judge (“Bevis & Butthead,” “King of the Hill” and “Office Space”) made a movie called Idiocracy staring Luke Wilson and Maya Rudolph.
(Special trivia moment – Rudolph, a cast member on Saturday Night Live, has a very famous mother - Minnie Riperton, the singer of “Lovin’ You.”)
Anyway, here’s what Wikipedia has to say about a movie you’ve probably never heard of:
“A dark comedy, it features an ‘Average Joe’ and a prostitute subjected to a military experiment in hibernation, from which they are to awaken in one year. However, they are forgotten and, instead, emerge 500 years later in a world where dysgenics and cultural anti-intellectualism have resulted in a uniformly stupid humanity.”
It’s worth a look, just to see the transformation of Fuddrucker's restaurants to "Buttfuckers."
In fact, look at it here (it’s broken into six parts).
We’re already on this path, my friends.
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