We where in the rental car in Italy when my wife made her confession:
"I didn't want to worry you, but I hit something with the car."
My wife is very hard on things. She would say that accidents happen. I would say that she's hard on things.
She's ruined two garage doors (I can only actually blame her for one; during a 116-degree day, she was the one who opened the door when the spring snapped, so you really can't count that one). But she actually closed the door on her car once, which crumpled the door.
Luckily, the Toyota was unhurt.
The door cost us $500.
I knew that when she said she hit something, it had cost us.
This is a woman who has called me from work to change two of her tires. Once, she made a U-turn too sharp and rammed the tire into the corner of a storm drain. The other time, she hit an eight-inch concrete screw on the highway.
She totalled her car three days before our wedding; she was calling to tell me that she had gotten my ring in the mail (we were a bit behind on ordering that). I heard the whole accident via cell phone.
I bought her the Rav4. Within three weeks of ownership, she hit a metal wheel chuck (it's the big metal thing 18-wheeler drivers put between their tires so the truck doesn't roll when parked) on the highway.
"Honest to God, there was nothing I could do," she said when she called. "It was on the Skyway and there was traffic coming and a cliff on the other side."
I think that cost us about $875.
We moved her into a Toyota Highlander last year. Her grandmother had a pacemaker installed, about two weeks she took ownership of the car.
She went down to Sacramento to be with her grandmother.
In the parking garage, someone side-swiped the car.
"I swear I don't do anything to bring this on," she said. "What wa I supposed to do?"
The estimate on that one was $545.
Now, we're in a rental can in Italy and she's smiling and cute and I haven't seen her in three weeks and so I say:
"So, what did you hit?"
"Well, you're not going to believe this - well, maybe you will, considering it was me - but I hit a couch."
"I hit a couch. On the Bonneyview bridge. There was nothing I could do - it was black and it was at night."
We have a two-lane bridge we have to cross to get over the river; it curves. She was driving home one night and around the curve was this black couch that she couldn't avoid.
She took the enire decorative bumper off.
"I got home and called the cops," she said. "They said they knew about it and were sending a patrol car to get it out of the road."
The cop, after moving both the couch and the Highlander's bumper to the curb, paid a visit to the house.
"I'm not going to cite you," he told her. "But if the people come back to claim their couch, you could be liable for the damages."
She said they never came back. I don't know, however, since she keeps the checkbook.
That cost us $500; she got the sideswipe damage done at the same time.
"It looks so pretty," she said. "It looks like it just came off the showroom."
How long that will last is anyone's guess.
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